


One Headlight

by nikomiel



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Alternate Universe - Twins, Brothers, Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-16 07:26:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3479471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikomiel/pseuds/nikomiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twins Yuuya and Yuuto have always been together, even when they're apart.</p><p>How do you lose half of who you are, if it makes you question what's really left?</p><p>How can you survive if you're the survivor?</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Headlight

All pointed noises and pink cheeks, they stood there, arm-in-arm.

The classroom was a hush of suspicion, which was to be expected of five-year-olds faced with identical twins.  
Especially twins like these.

One smiling, eyes bright and hair brighter.  
The other impassive, curious, suspicious. Always watching.

Their hands suddenly clasped around each other, white fingers curled around in an interlocking weave, and the gesture would have invited mockery had it been done by anyone else.  
But these two were different.  
They seemed like one person, blurred into two, and to separate them would look even weirder.

The teacher smiled at them, glasses perched dangerously low on her nose, and the redhead boy grinned back toothily. His dark-haired brother didn’t.  
“Sakaki-kun, Sakaki-kun…” she said, inciting a wave of giggles around the classroom and making the redhead grin even harder. “Won’t you guys introduce yourselves?”

The smiling twin stepped forward, briefly letting go of the other’s hand, whose face flickered almost imperceptibly.  
He spread his arms wide as if introducing a circus act.  
“Ladies and gentlemen!” he announced, and the class giggled again. “My name is Sakaki Yuuya, and it’s nice to meet you!”  
A girl in the front row waved back, pigtails bouncing and blue eyes shining, and he smiled even harder.  
Strange as it was, even the teacher had to lean on her hands to keep herself from clapping.  
This kid was a born entertainer.

Stepping back into position, Yuuya patted his brother’s shoulder and nudged him forward.  
“Go on!” he hissed, eagerly.  
His twin looked a lot less than eager.

“Yuuto,” he mumbled, briefly bobbing his head, and fell back into line.  
A few people murmured a “welcome, Yuuto” in response, but most kept silent, eyes fixed on the redhead again.

Yuuya tended to do that, to draw all attention to himself like he had a magnet for it. He was all megawatt smiles and big gestures, and even though he wasn’t particularly bright, he made up for it with his enthusiasm and hair.

His brother was the opposite; quiet and withdrawn and rarely seen smiling, unless it was at one of Yuuya’s abysmal jokes.

He was smart, though, and was regularly seen hoeing into novels on a Sunday whilst Yuuya was out running around with the neighbour’s dog or cartweeling down the grass hill. They'd sit together in the lounge, colouring in their homework with fat pastel crayons, and Yuuya would make all the trees violet and screaming pink, laughing at Yuuto as he cautiously etched on a uniform line of green grass. Dashing home after football practice, they'd throw themselves in front of the TV to watch the latest _Duel Monsters_ episode, and their mother would inevitably find them curled around each other later, sound asleep and drooling slightly. 

On the way to school, Yuuya would skip ahead, yelling out for his brother to avoid the lampposts as he buried his nose in a book.

Yes, they were as different as day and night.  
But, like day and night, they simply existed together.

 

x

 

 

“Mama, the teachers separated us again!”  
“Yuuya, don’t talk with your mouth full.”  
“But they did!” the boy continued, shovelling more mashed potato into his mouth and somehow managing not to choke. It would be impressive, if it weren’t so disgusting.

“It’s true,” his brother contributed from the seat next to him, quietly cutting up his beans into neat thirds. “They said we need to expand our social spheres and develop our separate identities.”  
His mother, having long since gotten used to her ten-year-old’s astonishingly extensive vocabulary, simply sighed.  
“They’re right. You can’t be joined at the hip forever, you know… especially since they caught you cheating last week.” She aimed this at Yuuya, who shrunk under her disapproving gaze.  
“It’s not cheating if he said I could!”  
“What!” his twin was aghast. “I never said you could!”  
“Well, you didn’t tell me _not_ to!”  
“That’s not the same!”  
“Yes it i-“  
“ _Yuuya, don’t talk with your mouth full_!”  
He opened his mouth, defiantly showing her the delicious sight of broccoli-and-potato gummed in his teeth, and she sighed as his brother laughed.  
“Honestly! You’re so _cheeky_ ,” she said. “If you didn’t make your brother laugh so much, I would ban you from dinner time forever. You boys drive me up the wall, you know!”  
He grinned at his twin, victoriously, who smiled back.  
“We know.”

 

 

x

 

“Yuuuuuuuutooooo!”  
The dark-haired teenager sighed as he heard his name floating down the hall through the music blasting in his ears. Putting down his book, he carefully took out his headphones and listened.  
It was quiet.  
Maybe he’d imagin-

“Yuuto!”  
The desperate cry was closer now, and he winced as his brother came haring down the hallway, practically ricocheting off the corner and skidding to a halt by his bedroom.  
Barely bothering to knock, he threw open the door as Yuuto tugged it from inside, and fell into the room at the sudden removal of resistance.

“Yes, Yuuya?” his brother said, wearily running one hand through his black-and-purple undercut and spiking it up even more in the process. From his sprawled position on the floor, Yuuya grinned up at him, limbs askew, and held up a blotchy sheet of paper.  
“For the last time,” Yuuto said, trying to scowl but failing, “Making me do your homework will screw you over in the end, you-“  
“No,” Yuuya said, and his crimson eyes sparkled with infectious excitement, “It’s the university! They offered me a place in their drama course! Assuming I pass all my exams, I mean, but I’ve got _you_ to tutor me!”  
His brother squinted at the piece of paper, skeptically. “The university send you _tha_ t splotchy thing?”  
“Well, I jumped up in excitement when I opened it, and I was drinking a cup of lemonade at the time...”  
“Idiot”, Yuuto said, affectionately, but a grin was rising on his pale face. “Congratulations, though! Which university? The Maiami Central?”  
His brother’s face dropped, and the change was startling.  
“That’s the thing…” his expression crumpled. The corners of his mouth turned down, and Yuuto instantly knew the answer.  
“It’s not the one in Maiami, is it?”  
“This one is better! It’s just… further away...”  
They looked at each other. Yuuya’s expression was now torn between sadness and desire for approval, for the encouragement of his twin.  
Yuuto sighed inwardly.  
“How far?”

His brother looked like it was the last question he wanted to answer.  
“About three hours on the metro… I’d have to live on campus. But I could come visit!” he said, hastily, as Yuuto’s mouth twitched. “If I even accept the offer…”

The problem with being twins, Yuuto reflected, was that it was almost impossible to lie to one another. Their emotions were written in their eyes, on their faces and by the subtlest body movements, in a language that only they were fluent in. It had always been something that gave them strength, a source of comfort and compatibility in the dangerous isolation and occasional loneliness of a teenage life, but now it was their biggest weakness. Yuuto could try and be completely happy for Yuuya, and Yuuya could try and pretend that he believed him, but each one knew the truth.  
That Yuuya was going to accept the offer.  
That Yuuto was going to have to exist thousands of miles from the person who shared his face and his whole life, and he didn’t know how to deal with that right now.

How could they live so far apart, when Yuuya had always been a yell down the hall away? Who would piss him off daily, play endless videogames with him, draw childish and anatomically unlikely images on his physics assignments, and provide excuses for him to be in the same room as Hiiragi Yuzu? Who knew him as well as Yuuya?

Nobody.

“I’ll miss you,” Yuuya said suddenly, breaking the silence, and his brother swallowed awkwardly.  
“Yeah,” he said around the lump in his throat. “You too.”  
There was a pause. Both of them looked away, Yuuya still crouched on the floor from his tumble into the room.

Suddenly, looking back at the pitiful expression on his twin’s pointed face, Yuuto realised how _selfish_ he was being. Acting like a lonely kid, clinging onto the friend he’d been born with instead of ever really trying to make new ones. He knew that Yuuya had done the same, that they had cherished this symbiotic relationship for eighteen years, but that didn’t mean it was something they should do for the rest of their lives.  
Being born together did not mean they had to always _be_ together, he realised.  
It was time to grow up and grow apart.

“I’m happy for you,” he managed eventually, and it was a jolting thought, because it was true. He really _was_ happy for Yuuya, who had struggled all through school but excelled in every single production their tiny school put on. People from all around Maiami City had heard about his performance; he had been _scouted_ , for Christ’s sake.

It was okay for Yuuto. He was virtually guaranteed his spot in the chemistry stream of their local university since he flew through the practice exams with his eyes closed. But Yuuya had always been worried about his future, though he tried not to show it, and Yuuto had worried with him.

Now the only thing they were worried about was being apart from each other, and he almost laughed at the silliness.  
“I really am!” he continued, and Yuuya was slowly rising from the floor, looking at him curiously. “It’ll be difficult without you, obviously, because I’ll be living in a house with four cats and Mum-“  
“Don’t forget Yuzu!” chirped Yuuya, and his twin tried not to flush. “She’ll still come around and visit! She talks about you all the time, you know. It’s kind of annoying actually.”  
“R-really?! What does sh- _anyway_ ,” Yuuto said, storing that information for later. “It’ll be hard, but I know you’ll always be there for me.”  
“And you’ll always be here for me.” Yuuya finished, smiling properly now.

There was another pause, longer this time, as they both fiddled with their wristbands.

“Wanna go play videogames?”  
“Oh god, yeah. After that soppy talk? I need to kill about a thousand zombies to feel like a man again.”  
“Yuuto, there aren’t _ever_ going to be enough zombies for that.”  
“Wha- dick!”

x

 

“… Because basically, Kurosaki’s an asshole, but he’s a smart asshole,” Yuuto was continuing as they walked down the main street, ripping into barbecue pork buns and shamelessly talking with their mouths full.  
“Kurosaki?” his brother repeated, spraying crumbs into the faces of passersby and absent-mindedly adjusting the goggles resting on the dyed green streaks of his hair. “Is that the guy that you had to forcibly restrain from punching that kid?”  
Yuuto rolled his grey eyes expressively at the memory. “Sora, yeah. That little shit thinks he’s the new Albert Einstein just because he’s the youngest entrant ever into the Advanced Physics stream.”  
“What a brat,” Yuuya commented, getting ready to cross the road. “If he ever gets on your nerves too much, tell him that the winner of the Most Promising Drama Undergraduate Award is ready to kick his ass with flourish and style.”  
His brother laughed, turning with him, and snapped his goggles gently. “Idiot, you’re so ridiculously proud of tha- _Yuuya, watch out_!”

Yuuya turned, oh so slowly, and it was like the motorbike was in slow motion too, masked rider desperately yanking on the brakes as the wheels screeched and locked, skidding forwards-  
Time sped up, and he was flying off to one side, dimly wondering if he was going to die, if the impact on his left side had been the fatal collision of motorbike and ribcage-  
Gravel, scraping up his arms and face, but he couldn’t feel it, like the pain was hanging suspended in the air-  
He looked up, dazedly shaking his head, as the world stopped rushing around him and everything was back to normal.

Except it never would again, because there was his twin brother, slumped in a pool of his own blood and lying very, very still.

The motorbike lay off to one side, its rider curled moaning on the ground, but Yuuya didn’t care about that right now.  
He couldn’t think about anything but the sight of his best friend dying in front of him.

“YUUTO!” he screamed, and the sound was oddly strangled from the uncontrollable panic rising in his throat, so maybe that’s why his brother wasn’t responding, he hadn’t recognised his name, that was all.  
(Yuuya didn’t even fool himself into believing that.)

Staggering over to his brother, he dropped to the ground, dragging Yuuto into his arms and cradling him desperately.  
“Yuuto, man, what the hell have you done?”  
His brother’s eyes flickered open, slowly and relucatantly, and he managed the faintest smile, soft grey eyes crinkling around the edges.  
“I couldn’t let you leave…” he murmered, as quiet as he had been that first day of school, “without bringing all the smiles that you can to the world.”  
“But _you_ make me smile!” Yuuya said, desperately, as if arguing with his brother in his last moments would turn back time, change the path of the bike to hit him instead, stop his twin from shoving him out of the way and sacrificing himself-  
For what?  
For smiles?  
Yuuto nodded, weakly, and Yuuya realised that he had said all that aloud, mumbling the words in his state of shock.  
“You’re so talented…” he coughed out, “you’re gonna be…”  
His breath gave out. His smile wavered and died on his face.  
Grey eyes, gazing sightlessly into crimson.

x

 

Screaming at the paramedics, refusing to relinquish his brother to the body bag of the men in overalls and vaguely sad expressions, Yuuya could finish the sentence himself.

_You’re gonna be alone._

 

 

x

 

The funeral was on a Monday, relentlessly hot and  unsympathetic in its sunny weather. They stood around the black casket, heads bowed and hands bound together, and Yuuya felt his heart drop with it, deep into the ground to never resurface.

Shuffling in his plain black trousers and jacket, he cleared his throat, trying to pretend it was all a dream. Any minute now, something weird would happen, like the priest turning into a dinosaur and flying off with the hearse, and he would realise it was all a weird nightmare, and then Yuuto would be shaking him awake, nagging him to get up for school but packing his lunch for him anyway. 

Any minute now.

He waited, patiently, and almost jumped as a sudden tap on his shoulder disturbed him.

"Huh?" he managed, looking around, and blurted a "what is it, Yuuto?" before he remembered that his brother wouldn't be doing _that_ anytime soon. A pair of eyes regarded him, sharp gold instead of soft grey, and he dimly recognised the gruff features of Kurosaki Shun. 

"Oh, hi, what's u-"

"Yuuto was brilliant," the older man said without preamble, and Yuuya felt an awful jolt at the past tense. "I was the best in the class, but he wasn't far behind. I respected him for that."

Yuuya nodded, at a complete loss for how to talk to this guy. 

Luckily, Kurosaki appeared to be a man of few words.

"We could have accomplished so much," he said, simply. "He was the only one who could keep up with my attitude and my work. It's a difficult loss."

With that, he bowed his head, and departed.

 

Yuuya was left standing by his brother's grave, wondering at how his brother managed to earn the respect of someone like Kurosaki Shun.

 

 _I knew I should have taken that hit,_ he thought, letting the tears rise in his vision and spill unchecked over his cheekbones. 

You _were the talented one. Not me._

_So why are you the one in the ground?_

 

x

 

His brother's sacrifice continued to haunt him all through the semester, manifesting in the most appalling grades of his life and a steady buildup of ramen containers and chocolate wrappers in his single dorm room. 

His teachers were patient, but he knew that they could only be patient for so long, before the sympathy ran out and they revoked his acceptance into the course. A dead twin could only get him so far.

But every time he stepped on that stage, cleared his throat to speak aloud in class, he saw a pair of grey eyes in his mind. A weak smile, telling him to be his talented self. A dying voice.

Yuuto was alive only in his memory now, torturing him, and he couldn't stand it. 

After a while, he stopped going to class altogether. 

And so , he was walking listlessly around his room in circles when the knock at the door sounded.

 

x

 

He could tell she didn’t know what to say.  
Yuzu’s eyes were deep with bottomless sadness, a reservoir of sympathy and regret for the partnership halved that day, months ago.  
She knew, better than anyone except possibly his mother, the grief that was fogging his mind and hanging around his dorm room. She understood why he couldn’t go home, to face the house of a childhood of two when only one of them would get to adulthood.  
Yuzu understood, and that was why she was here, sitting on his bed and waiting for him to speak.

“I want to quit my course,” he choked out, eventually, and it was like the words were hanging in the air.  
She nodded. “I know.” Then, she looked a little apprehensive, and he could guess what she was going to say. “But how could you, after what Yuuto said?”

Closing his eyes, he felt the tears well up behind his eyelids, and he could feel the impossibility all over again.

The impossibility of living without half of himself.

“What do I do, Yuzu? I know he’s gone, and doing what he said just because it’s his dying wish is a little pointless when it won’t even bring him back, but I…”  
He broke off, unable to continue, and she put her hand gently over his, tugging him onto the mattress next to her.

“Maybe,” she said, slowly. “you shouldn’t think of that as the reason. Maybe you should bring smiles to the world because it’s what you do best. That’s why Yuuto said it, isn’t it? Because it’s what you can do like no one else.”  
He stroked the duvet absent-mindedly, seemingly entranced by her words, and she felt the strength to continue.  
“You’re right, staying in the course won’t bring him back. Quitting won’t either though, right? Sure, you were correct in saying that doing what he said doesn’t really matter anymore. But what about doing what he said not because it was him who said it, but because it was the right thing to say? I mean, it’s true, Yuuya, what your brother said. You can bring so many smiles to the world with your performances. You can brighten so many days. Don’t give this up just because it hurts, because I’ll never forgive you for wasting your talent!” she finished, fiercely.

There was a silence.

His lips trembled, and for a second she thought she’d gone too far, but then he lifted his head and a weak smile broke out on his face, a changing into a grin that seemed to set the whole room aglow.  
She smiled back, clasping his hand tighter.

"You really mean that?" he asked, obviously thinking about the train crash that had been his last semester, and she nodded furiously. 

"I really do."

He looked relieved, but she had one last thing to say, to make sure he would never doubt himself again.

“You’re going to be…” she said, and for a second he could almost hear Yuuto saying the words along with her,  
“…amazing.”


End file.
